Jay

Jay

My church is passionate about Jesus and the Bible, but not afraid of diversity or independent thought. My church is a place to learn about the Bible where they challenge me to follow Jesus daily, but they do not expect everybody to think exactly alike. My church warmly welcomes me with open minds and hearts, but without considering who I am or where I am on life’s journey. Glade Church is the healing place to celebrate my Christian life, where I am celebrated, not just tolerated.

Just like my friends, I experienced conditional love from other church communities and even my family for that matter. For many individuals who identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender, church and sexuality do not always band together. Despite all that, I have never turned away from my personal relationship with God. Through all that, I have learned lessons to common problems that lead to disharmony, like loving that is conditional, shaming one another, using power to control others, and keeping emotional distance.

On Pastor Hanberry’s invitation to Glade Church, I discovered a church more the way I believe Church is to be. Members warmly welcome my partner and me. They visit us and we visit them. Members encourage us to participate and get involved. Knowing their website can reach into the community, as Glade Church’s webmaster I have endeavored to put in plain words to people how Glade Church has ordinary real people; we understand their life problems; we are community, family, and an unconditional welcome is waiting for them; and in that context, God can meet them and help them.

The Glade Church stories can be well-meaning statements to honor God. For my story, being connected with Glade Church’s ministry, I can say, “Thank you God for my friends and church family. Not everything in my life is always wholly wonderful, but we together can weather the storms of life.”

Did you know, the eagle knows when a storm is approaching long before it breaks. The eagle will fly somewhere high and wait for the winds to arrive. When the storm strikes, the eagle sets its wings for the wind to lift it above the storm. While the storm rages, the eagle soars above but never escaping it. The eagle rises on the winds that brought the storm.

Just like the eagle, on each approaching storm of life, I can rise above by setting my heart and mind toward God. Each storm does not have to overcome me. I can let God’s power lift me above. I can let God enable me to ride the storm winds that bring sickness, tragedy, failure, and disappointment into my life. The burdens of life may weigh me down, but God empowers me to handle them.

Paraphrased, the Bible says, “Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength for they will soar on wings like eagles.” (Isaiah 40:31, New International Version). In my words, I believe God loves me and his love will help me overcome any obstacles that come my way.

Like life itself, coming out has been a journey and not an end. It has been difficult to share my story, re-establish my relationship with God, come out to family and friends, or come out at work and to skeptics. Since a child and nurtured by family, friends, and a church community influenced by conservative Christian thinking, hatred and guilt have influenced my understanding about love and forgiveness. When I came out and looked for help, a friend told me, “God tells us to love everyone, but I do not have to be your friend.” A churchgoer told me, “Leave this church so God does not withhold his blessings.” A pastor told me, “All are welcome here, but do not expect to ever get involved.” A relative told me, “You having a brain aneurysm were God’s punishment.” A parent told me, “I love you, but you will always shame me.”

As I wrestled to understand love and forgiveness, I learned these deceptions about forgiveness. The first deception, I can never let anyone know, but I have learned sin wants me to cover and hide. Second, God can never forgive me, but I have learned sin wants me in bondage instead where by faith I accept and receive God’s forgiveness made possible through Jesus. Third, I could never forgive others, but I have learned forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling or emotion. Fourth, I can never be whole after what I have done. I have learned sin wants me broken, separated from wholeness through God’s mercy and grace. What if I can be whole, can forgive others, God can forgive me, and I come out into the open, can I ever be useful to God? Finally, the fifth deception, I can never be fruitful like all those other people, but I have learned my failures can spur greater fruitfulness and ministry if I let them.

In the Bible, Jesus says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30, New International Version).

Since a child, I have evoked these words, “This is the beginning of a new day. God has given me this day to use, as I will. I can waste it or use it for good. What I do today is important, because I am exchanging a day of my life for it. When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever, leaving in its place something that I have traded for it. I want it to be gain, not loss; good, not evil; success, not failure; in order that I shall not regret the price, I paid for it.” (W. Heartsill Wilson, A New Day).

Discovering Glade Church was a blessing. Glade Church is more the way I believe Church is to be. In a world where social injustice challenges me, my church inspires me to do something about it. I believe in the special relationship between God, his people, and the way they relate to one another. The way I love may differ from the way you love, but I believe my relationship with God is like yours.